remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
