Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
