I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Panties = found
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
