Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
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Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
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"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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