that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize