Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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