dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus