I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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