Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"