He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
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I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
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I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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