Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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