Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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