I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
