THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
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This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
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The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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