Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
