I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
