Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
