Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
