i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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