the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
