And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
