I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
