i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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