KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
