I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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