hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
