my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
