just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
