I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
