I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You are the jesus of drinking
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
