Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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