Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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