he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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