Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize