i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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