My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
