Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
