I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize