All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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