There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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