What did we do last night that was yellow?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
