After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
