Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
