Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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