I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
