My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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