Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
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Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
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thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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