this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
