Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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