i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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