To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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