its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
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