what day is it and did you see me today?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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