I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
