there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
