is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
