NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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