New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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