yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
